Haiku poems originate from Japan. They take the form of 3 lines and a total of 17 syllables (normally 5,7,5 pattern). They are written in the present tense and highlight an aspect of nature or seasons.
47 Comments
George WC
13/11/2017 10:35:35 am
Roaring waterfall
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Colt
14/11/2017 12:09:01 pm
it has all the syllables and is your season haiku all year round. 4-
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Colt hitt
13/11/2017 10:36:05 am
The fire crackles
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Colt hii
13/11/2017 10:37:18 am
sorry got the name wrong
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Colt Hill
13/11/2017 10:37:52 am
sorry again
George WC
14/11/2017 12:08:05 pm
great description and senses but the last line has 6 syllables not 5.
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Brooke
13/11/2017 10:36:37 am
Moonlight floods the hill,
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Hannah
14/11/2017 12:07:50 pm
I like the image your poem paints in the head of the reader. I can easily tell which season it is in. You used the correct number of syllables. You could improve on using sensory vocabulary. Well done. 4
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Sophie
13/11/2017 10:36:51 am
Coloured flowers bloom
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Mabelle
14/11/2017 12:16:28 pm
This poem puts out a very nice image, I can just image how peaceful it would be. The sentences flow very nicely and you stay on topic through out the poem. You have very good punctuation, grammar and spelling. 4+
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Piper
13/11/2017 10:37:29 am
Water rushing down
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Kaia
14/11/2017 12:08:36 pm
I really like how your poem sounds. It all makes sense and you can tell what season it is very clearly. I am going to give you a 4++.
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Molly
13/11/2017 10:38:04 am
Washed up seashells
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Emma Begg
14/11/2017 12:10:14 pm
Good Job Molly, you have impressed me with the improvment of your vocabulary, I also love the feeling and picture I get in my head. 4+
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Peta
13/11/2017 10:38:20 am
The tiny tree sits
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Annie
14/11/2017 12:08:00 pm
Really good Peta, has the right amount of syllables. 4+
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Alex Ford
13/11/2017 10:38:28 am
Birds tweet in the trees
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Piper
13/11/2017 10:43:25 am
I like the ending but you may need a comma at the end of the second line but aside from that it pretty good
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Piper
13/11/2017 10:44:35 am
opps sorry wrong one
Jamie Temporal
14/11/2017 12:07:43 pm
Very good Alex.There is 17 syllables. Spelling is good too.Nothing to work on.4
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Hannah
13/11/2017 10:38:38 am
Daffodils swaying,
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Brooke
14/11/2017 12:08:24 pm
Well done. I like how I am able to picture the image you had when you wrote this poem. It was a nice poem; gentle and peaceful. I'm not entirely sure about the tense but other than that I like it. Overall I give you a 4.
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Reuben
13/11/2017 10:38:50 am
The leaves change colour
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William
14/11/2017 12:13:45 pm
I liked the description in it like trees look naked. The syllables are on point and I like the poem.
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Annie
13/11/2017 10:39:10 am
Walking on gravel
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Peta
14/11/2017 12:08:30 pm
Very nice poem there Annie! i really liked all of your great words.
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Andrew
13/11/2017 10:39:20 am
The earthquake unleashed
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Brad
14/11/2017 12:11:52 pm
well done Andrew
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Thornton
13/11/2017 10:39:25 am
Tumbling red leaves
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George W
14/11/2017 12:09:48 pm
I can really imagine this you have described it good. It has a lot of impact in it as well. 5 Well written
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William
13/11/2017 10:39:33 am
Leaves change colour
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Reuben
14/11/2017 12:12:11 pm
All the lines sound like they have the right syllables.
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Isla
13/11/2017 10:39:46 am
Shells wash up in heaps.
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Harriet
14/11/2017 12:10:00 pm
I really like your poem Isla. You have used the right amount of syllables for each line. The words you have chosen are also good. You have also used the right tense. Well done. 4/5
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George W
13/11/2017 10:40:10 am
The white crunchy frost
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Thornton
14/11/2017 12:08:43 pm
I like your poem because winter is my favorite month. You have shown which season it is clearly and has a natural feeling. Well done. 4
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Emma
13/11/2017 10:40:20 am
Early morning
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Jamie Temporal
13/11/2017 10:40:42 am
As the slop returns
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Alex Ford
14/11/2017 12:08:54 pm
I like the way how you make it sound and the pig must be hungry 4+
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Mabelle
13/11/2017 10:40:53 am
Snow falls slowly down
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Sophie
14/11/2017 12:11:40 pm
I really like the description of the curb as it helps the reader visualize the picture in their head. Good use of punctuation as well. 5
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Kaia
13/11/2017 10:42:17 am
The sun is shining
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Piper
14/11/2017 12:11:06 pm
This is good I like your use of words and it makes sense. Grade 4+
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Harriet
13/11/2017 10:42:45 am
Leaves gently falling
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Isla
14/11/2017 12:09:31 pm
I like how easy it is to figure out what season you are talking about and I can picture what your scene is. Also your punctuation and spelling is perfect. I'm going to give you a 4+.
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brad
13/11/2017 10:44:47 am
One stormy night
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Andrew
14/11/2017 12:15:57 pm
Well written Brad but next time on your second line you need 7 syllables you only have five on the second line, you got a spelling error LIGHTNING and the last line you need 5 you only got 4 and at the end of RATTLE you need an S.
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